Music has played an important part in our relationship, at many times it brought us closer, by sharing music we found out what we had in common, by dedicating songs to each other via our playlists we declared our intentions, our feelings, or love for each other. For every song we shared we shared, we exchanged parts of ourselves with each other. You were the first person I ever made a playlist for every song I placed in it I put a great deal of thought and love when adding them. That’s why I never missed a song you added, and that’s why when you unlisted it, you destroyed me. My playlist will forever remain up, if only as a testament to our love, I never did stop adding songs to it.
Below is a collection of songs I would dedicate to you in an old-fashioned sense, in a broken-hearted forgive me, standing outside your window with a boombox kind of way. I’ve also included songs and lyrics that are important to us, that defined us, and that remind me of you. If you were to listen to only one listen to the last song, Lover, You Should’ve Come Over.
The Air That I Breath – The Hollies
Let’s Make a Mistake Tonight – Tennis
Literally anything from Morrissey/The Smiths
I vividly remember the second time we ever hung out. Having not gotten any sleep we went to the Blue Dahlia where if I recall I ordered oatmeal which I could barely stomach. What followed was a trip to the thrift store where, with shame, I confessed to liking The Smiths/Morrissey and you surprised me by revealing you liked him as well. Never had I met someone who enjoyed him as much as I did, it further solidified the attraction I had to you. I would give anything to hear you sing any of his songs again.
The Flame – Cheap Trick
Another night slowly closes in,
And I feel so lonely.
Touching heat freezing on my skin,
I pretend you still hold me.
I’m going crazy, I’m losing sleep.
I’m in too far, I’m in way too deep over you.
I can’t believe you’re gone.
You were the first, you’ll be the last.
A song I’ve been listening to more now than ever, as the lyrics suggest you’re my first love, and despite the distance, despite how unrequited the flame which is our love, our memories, will always live within me.
Mamma Mia! Soundtrack
I can still recall
Our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the Seine
Laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain
I try to reach for you
But you have closed your mind
Whatever happened to our love?
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice
It used to be so good
The feeling that I’m losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girlWhat happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go?
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did, but most we didn’t
And why, I just don’t know
I wish we had at one point watched Mamma Mia! together, I know how much you loved that movie, and if asked I would have said yes in a heartbeat. Though I may have never watched it I’m familiar with the soundtrack and so I picked out the ones I recognized that captured some thoughts and feelings I have for you.
The Beginning – Magdalena Bay /
So if you think you’re finished
Go back to the beginning and find
That everybody needs a little help
From time to time, just look inside
Nothing but beautiful, pleasant memories come to me when I hear these songs, our first dates, trips to San Marcos, to Austin, the anxiety when waiting for your texts and calls. Without you, I would have never been introduced to these songs that is why I group them together. I can barely listen to them now without being reminded of your loss, without being reminded of our beginning.
I think all my life
I never met anybody like you
Sunrise all the time
When I touch youIt’s like I’m waking up
In a euphoria
My insecurities
Are things I never wasI was a sad, sad song before we met
But boy, your love is such a trip
Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) – Looking Glass
She hears him say Brandy you’re a fine girl
(you’re a fine girl)
What a good wife you would be
(such a fine girl)
I could never hear this without thinking of you and hearing your voice, if I had not made it clear before I loved the way you sang.
Can’t Smile Without You – Barry Manilow
You see, I feel sad when you’re sad
I feel glad when you’re glad
If you only knew what I’m going through
I just can’t smileNow some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I’m finding it hard leaving your love behind me
There was never a time when I did not share what you felt, your highest highs, your lowest lows, and everything in between, all your emotions reflected back onto me. At times I know I wasn’t able to comfort you but I hope you know I was always there for you, a call or text away.
The Promise – When In Rome
When your day is through
And so is your temper
You know what to do
I’m gonna always be there
Sometimes if I shout
It’s not what’s intended
These words just come out
With no cross to bearI’m sorry but I’m just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be
And if I had to walk the world I’d make you fall for me
I promise you, I promise you I will
A promise of faith, of commitment, of change. and of love to you.
Perhaps Love – John Denver
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when it’s cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you
When you told me you cried when I added this song to your playlist I couldn’t have felt more moved, I hoped you you knew that I meant every word said and that any memory of love, will be of you.
Lover, You Should’ve Come Over – Jeff Buckley
If there were any song that could capture my feelings for you this would be it, every syllable, every note is yours, every word is wholly dedicated to you and my love for you. Anytime this song will play it’ll remind me of you and every time I’ll shed a tear. Because of this, I’m including the entirety of the lyrics below, I love you.
Looking out the door I see the rain
Fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations
As their shoes fill up with waterMaybe I’m too young
To keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you’re on my mind
So… you’ll never knowBroken down and hungry for your love
With no way to feed it
Where are you tonight?
Child, ya know how much I need itToo young to hold on
And too old to just break free and runSometimes a man gets carried away
When he feels like should be having his fun
Much too blind to see the damage he’s done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that
Really he has no oneSo I’ll wait for you, love
And I’ll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return?
Oh, will I ever learn?
Oh-oh, lover, you should’ve come over
‘Cause it’s not too lateLonely is the room, the bed is made
The open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams
He had you with himMy body turns
And yearns for a sleep that won’t ever come
It’s never over
My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It’s never over
All my riches for her smiles
When I’ve slept so soft against herIt’s never over
All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It’s never over
She is the tear that hangs inside my soul foreverOh, but maybe I’m just too young
To keep good love from going wrongOh-oh-oh, lover
You should’ve come over, yeah, yes
Yes, I feel too young to hold on
And much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb and blind to see the damage I’ve done
Sweet lover, you should’ve come overOh, love, well I’ve waited for you
Lover, lover, lover
Lover, love, love, love, love, love, love!
Lover, you should’ve come over
‘Cause it’s not too late
At the Crossroads 